Who am I?

I was forced to go into a bank recently, well, more than once. As the years lay down the sediment of experience on the arteries, I endeavour to avoid moments of great excitement or anxiety and so rely on virtual, on line, banks where ever possible. However, having just taken over as treasurer of a small photography group recently, all attempts to amend the banks records to accommodate this without several visits to the high street, failed. The telephone number in the cheque book connected me only to some remote cubicle where I was informed that they were not in a position to send me the required mandate, I would have to visit the bank in person. A 10 minute wait on a fairly quite afternoon furnished me with a copy of the form, which the enthusiastic assistant informed me, she had downloaded and printed off. "No", there was not anything else she could do for me today, I returned home to complete the process. Completion of the details required, which stopped just short of the inside leg measurements of the existing committee members and the outgoing Treasurer, as well as a copy of the minutes of the meeting where I had awoken to find that I was to be the next person to hold the said position, and the signatures of the Group secretary and the chair of the meeting where the above took place, I decided to check my work to date before sending the form on a round trip to obtain the required signatories. The second visit to the bank, which was admittedly at lunch time when people wanted to use the banking facilities, during their lunch break, but the bank's staff were, unfortunately, also doing what they needed to do during their own lunch break. After reassurance that the form was correctly completed I was advised to bring the form back once I had the two remaining signatures, as I would have to show some identification - a driving licence would suffice. The third visit, and of course, to speak to a different set of brightly attired assistants - no sign of a reduction in banking staff in this neck of the world - did not go well. A second form of identity was needed, a UK, photo, driving licence was insufficient. The fact that I had several other forms of id which showed my name and signature or name and photograph, or even an envelope with my name and address on it, was of no significance. A utility bill would be required before the bank would accept me as me and allow me to manage an account which holds just a few hundred pounds over the year. The young girl who I spoke to on my fourth visit had obviously been on the advance customer service course, completely ignoring me whilst I recounted my previous visits, as she entered details on to the computer, or perhaps she was doing something completely different - how was I to know? I left thinking that had the banks been a bit more careful about who they were lending to or what they were investing in over recent years then we might not be in the mess we are in today.