Banking Crisis

This month I have been falling out with my bank, or rather a couple of Banks. First of all I had issues with one bank over an error with their on line banking service that meant that I couldn't withdraw money for my daughter's wedding present. Although their system wasn't working they told me that they couldn't arrange the transfer over the phone as it was an "on line account". After waiting more than a week for them to sort out the problem I eventually contacted their Customer Services department by email to tell them that I wanted to close the account, as this seemed to be the only way i could get my hands on my money but the instructions on how to close the account didn't work. However, eventually they responded to my email to say that i couldn't close the account on line, I would have to telephone!!! So they couldn't transfer my money by phone because it was an online account and I couldn't close the account" online". After a heated debate, I asked that they closed my accounts and transferred the money as soon as possible. This was over a week ago and although my accounts show as closed I have no idea just where my money has gone.

My other problem, last week, materialised when I applied on line to open an ISA account, a tax free savings account, with a bank I have had accounts with for well over 20 years and which receives my monthly pension. Back came a letter from the bank to say that they couldn't open the account until they had received proof of who I was. According to the bank this was because of UK legislation to prevent money laundering. Well since the maximum amount that can be saved in the tax free account is £3600 (about $7000) I couldn't see many big time criminals making use of this method of laundering their illicit gains. Besides, I only wanted to transfer last years tax free savings over from an account with the same bank to gain a better rate of interest. But no I need to send a copy of my passport or driving licence, together with documents to show that the address I give is where I actually live, and i have to ask a policeman, teacher, bank manager, lawyer or some other worthy person to countersign the documents to say that they are genuine.

All in all I welcome the thought that the banks are looking after the money that is entrusted to them but recent events in the UK banking sector, caused mainly by UK banks lending money either to US banks or directly to US and UK citizens to buy houses that they can't afford, then I do have to wonder whether they have their priorities right. Perhaps they have been remembering the old saying that if you "look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves" and taking it just a wee bit too literally.

I am now considering whether, when and if I do get my money back from the first bank, to hide the lot under my mattress. At least I will have a good reason why I am having a bad nights sleep, rather than worrying whether my life savings are being used to prop up someone else's dodgy lifestyle.

How much milk is in the jug

This not a method by which to test whether you are an optimist or a pessimist, although it perhaps displays the logic of being pessimistic. After several months of retirement from regular paid employment I have become to understand one more of the basic laws of existence. Now this based purely upon observation and not on any scientific proof so really I suppose that it is, at this stage, merely a hypothesis, but one that I shall undertake to prove, or otherwise, out in the months to come.

Observation has lead me to believe that there is a relationship between the amount of milk found in a milk jug and the number of cups of tea to be made. Roughly speaking, the amount of milk in the jug is equal to x(n-1/n), where x is the amount of milk required to add to a single cup of tea and n is the number of cups to be poured. To put it more simply, there is never quite enough milk in the jug, but the more cups you have to make the less important this becomes. Hence when making 2 cups of tea, there is enough for one and a half, when making twenty there is enough for nineteen and 19/20ths.