You've got to larf

Having drafted out and sensibly deleted several missives recently on the state of the nation and all that is wrong with the world I thought that I should, as an alternative, write something funny, or at least vaguely amusing. The thought of vast numbers of my shy, anonymous followers silently chuckling over an out pouring of original wit based on everyday events gave me an enthusiastic rush not experienced since I dropped a mug of hot coffee in my lap. But just what to write about?

Should I write about the young lad stopped from buying a packet of wine gums because he was under age? Or the woman who was allowed to buy a greetings card that showed a bottle of wine and two glasses, once it was clear that she was over 25?

Then again it could be a story about a school that banned football in the playground because it was too dangerous. I expect they had sold off the school playing field to pay the pensions of all the teachers that had gone off sick with stress.

I was tempted to write about a certain court case involving a east European chappie who refused to attend Court where he was to be tried for mass, and I do mean mass, murder. He did look like he was having a bad hair day but the same excuse was not allowed Sadam who reluctantly, i am sure, went clanging to his day of reckoning.

I was further inspired by TV News coverage of Newquay police trying to change the image gained by that town of drunken revelry which showed tottering tottie and loudmouthed laddettes sprawling around the town's streets at throwing up time. This reminded me that I had been told some months ago that adult education teachers were being advised not to use the term "ladies" as it could be considered offensive. Any comparison to these ladies of the night out would indeed be offensive.

Perhaps I'll just leave it for now, and try to think of something amusing for another time.