Move over darling

The fact that Alistair Darling still has a job can only put down to the fact that Gordon Brown is known for being a ditherer. Plus of course he is running out of candidates for his top jobs. Hazel Blears is already on the list to go at the next reshuffle and there can't be many cards left in poor Gordon's hand. Ed Balls is muted for a move to No 11 but if he had any decency he would be packing his bags and going home, if he can remember just where that is these days. When it comes to it there aren't a great number of names that you can think of that might be suitable for a cabinet position that aren't destined for the naughty seat rather than the front bench. Although if they were put on the front bench, where we can keep an eye on their behaviour we might not have so much scandal in the house.

Of course, after hosting this greed fuelled party, poor old Gordon wants to stay behind and help pick up the pieces and put it all back together again before the police turn up. He will, of course, be thinking that if he doesn't then it will be a long time before he is invited to the party again.

When MPs want to sidle off to the Opera rather than attend a boring old debate about the nations economic problems they find a likely candidate from the opposition to pair off with. Perhaps the Holy Trinity, Gordon, David and young Nick can do a deal over the expenses fiasco in a similar way. Cameron could send home one of his number, Nick Clegg one of his and Gordon can do likewise. No waiting to pass go at the next election and collect £30,000 payoffs, though. Just a warm farewell and a free course at the local Tech on home economics. If Cameron, brown and Clegg don't like this idea then I have another. i am assuming that the "Has Briton got talent" set is still in one piece. well. just line up the errant MPs and give them 3 minutes to tell their story and plead for forgiveness. Brown, Cameron and Clegg can take the place of the judging panel and 2 Xs and they are off the stage. The great british public could then be given the opportunity to vote for those that they want to see sent packing and who they want to stay. I expect that the number of votes cast at the usual telephone charge for this type of programme could pay off the National debt and ensure that the whole lot are handed over to the Revenue officers and hopefully not heard from again.